Freshman (UGA!), Fifteen (HS), & Fifty!

Another month in the books! This one was definitely bittersweet. Brayden was spending many days getting together with some of her best friends as one last final hurrah before everyone went their separate ways for college. Her huge “Cookout” group went over to boy Brayden’s house one evening and his mom surprised them with an amazing photo montage video that she had put together, which was incredibly thoughtful. I think it even brought some of the kids to tears! The four of us enjoyed some really good, quality family time together, knowing that things also would be changing for us. This time was, and always will be, extremely precious. We helped her get everything staged before packing it into a bunch of Ikea bags and boxes. Our dining room and kitchen tables, as well as the floor all around them, was covered in supplies, furniture, and accessories. We did take a break from all the packing and celebrated my 48th birthday. After usually being told no, Brayden joined me for my favorite hip-hop dance class that morning. It was so fun getting to shake our booties together. She had a smile on her face the entire time, so I’m pretty sure she had a blast as well. That night, we went to dinner at Salted Melon, which was delicious, and then came home and opened presents. Hanleigh gave me a picture frame with a photo of us making funny faces in it from our dinner at Saba Rock over the summer in the British Virgin Islands. That was so sweet and thoughtful! Brayden gave me a fleece blanket that has a huge picture of the two of us on it that was taken during her prom. Both of these gifts were so incredibly touching. And, they both wrote me the kindest notes…of course I have kept both of them! The next day, we continued to clean out and pack up Brayden’s room. We even came across some things that were quite comical—the diary entries that she wrote when she was in elementary school! We laughed as she read every single one, most of which were about how her day was “the worst day of her life” and then she proceeded to describe why that was the case. I’m sure on that day, it probably did feel horrible, but looking back at the reason why it was a bad day was extremely comical. It’s all perspective.

The next day, we wrapped up some final shopping for her dorm by going to AtHome to find some throw pillows for her bed and futon, and then we came home and later that night had family game night where we played cards and enjoyed a lot of snuggling on the couch together. Brayden and I had also been watching Bachelor in Paradise together, so it was good to catch up on some trashy television. There were also videos that each sorority had assigned her to watch and she continued to rank them in order of which ones she felt were a good fit for her. The night before we left was the Ke$ha concert. Brayden went with all of her friends, and Kippen and I took Hanleigh, Ray, and Hunter. One of the opening bands was called Scissor Sisters and they were definitely interesting and a bit bizarre. They started off pretty tame and by the end of their set, things got a little bit scandalous. I’ll just leave it at that. When Ke$ha came on stage, I was a little bit unsure of how good of a singer or performer she was, but that quickly changed. She definitely has a great voice and she was very entertaining! We had an awesome time and exited PNC Pavilion just in time to beat the traffic madness. 

College drop-off had finally arrived, but beforehand, Trent and Brayden took the dogs to the kennel. I think this was one of the most challenging things for her from an emotional perspective because she loves them both so much and knew she wouldn’t see them until Thanksgiving. Trent said she did get a little teary-eyed when she dropped them off. When she came home, we went to the front yard and she pulled out her high school senior yard sign and threw it away. This got me a little teary-eyed. It was physically symbolic that it was time to turn the page and begin an entirely new and very exciting chapter for all of us! A few minutes later, it was wheels up and we were Athens-bound! The drive down there was very surreal for me and I was a bit uneasy and nervous; however, when we approached campus and our Airbnb, excitement quickly replaced those feelings! It was as if I had regressed back to when I was moving in at NC State and a whole flood of emotions was there. I don’t know who was most excited! We checked into our Airbnb, drove down Milledge (the main street where all the sororities and fraternities are) and headed out to dinner. The next day (Kyle’s 46th birthday, by the way, happy birthday, brother!), her roommate, Libby Gray, was scheduled to move into the dorms in the morning. While she did that, we hung out at the Airbnb until it was time to meet up with her and her family for lunch. We went to our favorite watering hole, the Trappeze Grill! I don’t think there is a time that we have visited Athens that we have not eaten there. It was so great to meet her and her family, and even though it was the first time we had met them, it felt like we had known them for a while. We all hit it off right away! They are from the Atlanta area, which is comforting, because they are only about an hour away, just in case the girls need them quickly. 

After lunch, we went back to the Airbnb to gather our things and chill out for a little bit until LG was finished moving her stuff in. Then, the four of us proceeded to Brayden’s dorm where it took us three trips to get everything out of the car—not too bad. The process was extremely simple and very well organized. The volunteer students did a great job of helping all the incoming freshmen get to where they needed to be. The fact that Brayden and LG had done so much planning this summer really made things very simple. They were so organized, down to every last detail. We spent a couple hours unpacking and organizing, and her room looked amazing! I wish I could say that for the hallway (there were boxes everywhere and Dads assembling desks right outside of the elevators). Her dorm is extremely nice! There is a kitchenette just down the hall as well as a common area with a TV and couches, and the perimeter of those spaces is filled with a bunch of small study rooms and spaces to make private phone calls. Again, it was all very surreal. Since LG’s parents had already left, we took her out to dinner that night with us to a restaurant called The Place. It was absolutely delicious! That night, Brayden spent the night in her dorm and we went back to the Airbnb. This would be the first night that Brayden was officially living somewhere else. It was very hard to wrap my head around this. The next morning, we picked up Brayden from her dorm and took her to a delicious breakfast place that she and I had visited before in the fall when we went to the UGA versus Georgia tech football game. It’s called Mama’s Boy. 

After breakfast, we headed back to her dorm to finish up a couple remaining items and then it was time. It was time for the last 18 years of raising this sweet, incredible human who relied on us for everything to finally spread her wings and fly. In the spirit of keeping it honest and transparent, this was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through as a parent. She walked with us out to the parking lot and it was as if I did not ever want to let her go. All of the excitement from the past few days had been set aside and this feeling of “no, this can’t be, I’m not ready for this!” just bubbled up inside of me. We gave her some words of wisdom and the tears flowed from all of us. I just felt like I was elevated above the experience and watching everything unfold and shaking my head internally in disbelief. I didn’t want her to walk away, but I was equally excited for her. It’s unbelievable how two opposing feelings can coexist and you don’t really know what to do with them or how to process them. She walked away, we closed the doors to the car, and I absolutely lost it. It. I think I cried at least two hours, off and on, the entire way home. When we got home, I knew the second hardest part was approaching…walking by her room. As I approached it, this feeling of nausea crept upon me and I all but dropped to my knees. It was as if someone had taken my heart and ripped it from my body. I knew then that a huge part of my heart was now in Athens. I felt like I was in a catatonic state and it lasted for a couple weeks. No one can prepare a parent for this. But, I kept telling myself that the reason I feel so strongly is because of how much love there is. And that is such a beautiful thing. How lucky are we that we can be that emotional because of the amazing relationship that we have cultivated over the years. So, I just embrace the tears, the nausea, the dialectical tension of emotions that I’m experiencing, and everything in between. Because it’s all for this amazing love and bond that is irreplaceable. Friends told me that it would get easier and in that moment, it was hard to believe, but day by day, it did. The feeling of missing her never goes away, but you just get used to a new normal. Whenever I walk by her room, I say or think something sweet about her and blow her a kiss (great tip given to me by Kendall). Our family dynamic has changed and Trent, Hanleigh, and I are forming a new relationship with the three of us at home. It’s all a learning experience and I was looking forward to seeing what’s next!

After getting back from dropping her off, I noticed there was an Amazon package addressed to her, so I texted and asked if I could open it. It. She said okay and when I did, it was a tiny little oval-shaped pillow that had a picture of her on it from when we went to orientation in Athens. She had ordered it for us (so thoughtful!) and it showed up just at the right time. Let’s just say that I snuggle with it every night. It brings me comfort. I guess you can call it my lovey. 

We had a lot going on the day we arrived back home after dropping her off…it was Hanleigh’s 15th birthday and she was hosting a pool party at our house with 26 other friends! I’ve never seen so many rising freshmen in a hot tub in my life! They had a blast and even Charlie jumped in the pool with them! I can’t believe that she’s 15 years old. Again, I feel like a broken record, but everyone is growing up so fast. It’s just crazy. We got her some beauty products that she had asked for as well as a sweatshirt that she wanted. 

The second round of rush was also going on and Brayden visited eight houses of the 12 that she had been matched with during the first round. That’s pretty good odds! It’s crazy to watch all of the rush videos on social media. They even had a Sephora pop-up and one of the front lawns so the girls could get their makeup touched up before visiting the next house. Definitely not the same rush experience I had back in 1995. I also love seeing the pictures of Brayden and Cora spending time together at UGA. They have been best friends since kindergarten and the fact that they are together in college is just so amazing. Cora did not rush a sorority, but I love the fact that they still make it a priority to get together. The day after dropping Brayden off and Hanleigh’s birthday party, Kendall and I went took a six-mile walk together. It was very therapeutic and was a good outlet for me, considering my very sad state of mind. I needed that release, though. That evening, Trent and I had cocktails at OMB with Tonya and Mike, followed by dinner at Rooster’s. The main point of this dinner was to commiserate on our experience of dropping our girls off at school. There was laughter and there were tears, but it’s so comforting to have friends that are going through the exact same situation and know that you’re not alone in the way that you are feeling. The best way I’ve been able to describe it is as if you have been broken up with by someone, but you are still on really good terms, and all you want is for them to reach out to you and say hi and let you know that they’re thinking about you. You just wait with bated breath and when you do connect and talk to that person, it fills your bucket! There are so many things I miss about her, but I know she is soaring on her own. That’s the whole point, right? 

Trent and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary with just a chill evening at home. We were exhausted from the weekend. A lot of things going on and we were emotionally exhausted. But, we are here for each other, and this is when it’s needed the most…during some life’s biggest changes. Hanleigh finished up her her last week of volunteering at the YMCA for the three- and four-year-old preschool camps and she had her last monthly check-in for her braces. Brayden also began round three of rush, where she visited five different houses on Monday and Tuesday. Trent and I enjoyed an old school, throwback concert at the Ballantyne Amp with Cypress Hill and other hip-hop artists. It was really fun and the crowd was hype! I had my monthly facial at Amy’s house as well.

On the eve of her first day of college, Brayden and the rest of the UGA freshman class all dressed in their red Georgia attire, congregated in the center of Sanford stadium to form the letter “G” and had their photos taken. This is a long-standing tradition and I know she had a blast. The next day was her first official day of college! Hard to believe! Here’s what she is taking this semester: Introduction to Honors College, Principles of Macroeconomics, Earth Processes and Environments, Media News and Consumers, and Visual Exploration of the World. Her school counselor recommended that she only take 14 hours since it’s her freshman year and college life takes some getting used to. Plus, since she is in Honors College, that was taken into account as well. The good thing is that she came into school with so many credits from her AP classes, that there wasn’t a need for her to take much more than 14 hours this semester. Later that night, she participated in another tradition: jumping in the Herty Field fountain. The jump into the fountain represents the fear, uncertainty, and excitement associated with being a freshman on campus! Just another rite of passage! 

Julie, Tonya, and Heather treated me to a birthday dinner at Rooster’s. This was a couple weeks after my birthday, but I knew I needed to focus all of my energy on getting things settled for college before this dinner could take place. Of course, the focus of most of our conversations was around exactly that. Out of the four of us, three of us have kids that we sent off to college, with Julie taking her daughter back to ECU for her sophomore year. Tonya had taken Kaitlyn, her only child, to Alabama, so we all were in similar company. These therapeutic dinners are definitely helpful. I also had anticipated needing to have some quiet time to myself to reflect, so I had booked a massage and facial at Ballantyne Spa, which was very much needed.

Rush was winding down and Brayden had her preference round, where she was to narrow it down to her top pick. This is where all of the past couple months of doing her research, talking to friends, and learning more about each sorority would culminate into an important decision for her: where would she find her tribe of women that could support her and where she could do the same? Meanwhile, the three of us took GG out to dinner to 131 Main in South Park. It was so great to spend time with her and I know she enjoyed it as well. We love you so much, GG! The next day, Bid Day was here for Brayden and they live streamed it from Stegeman Coliseum, where the basketball team plays. That place was full of rushees, anxiously waiting to open their sealed envelopes which would reveal their match! There were so many girls there and the live stream was taken from one angle of the stadium, so you really couldn’t see one specific person, so thankfully Brayden had taken a video herself of her reaction. It was priceless! She received a bid from Alpha Omicron Pi (AOii for short), and was so darn excited that she couldn’t contain herself! I could watch that video over and over again!

Heather turned 50 years old and we celebrated her birthday the weekend after. More to come below. We had my mom over for dinner one night and it was great to see her. Meanwhile, Brayden continued living her best life at school by going to fraternity mixers nearly four to five times per week (yes, she’s also going to her 8am classes…and all of her classes). She has new-member meetings on Tuesdays as well, so I’m sure time management is becoming quite apparent given the fact of how busy she is at nearly all hours of the day. Trent and I took Hanleigh to see the band 10 Years, who we have been listening to for a very long time. We had dinner beforehand at VGBG and it was delicious, then made our way over to The Underground to watch them perform. Hanleigh isn’t the biggest lover of rock and roll, but by the end of the night, I think she enjoyed herself. We even got to meet the lead singer, Jesse, so I was fangirling a bit on the inside! 

Aunt Patty celebrated her birthday (yay!), Hanleigh completely organized and rearranged her room, Trent and I attended Hanleigh’s open house at her high school where we were able to meet her teachers and see the new school, and Brayden had her new-member retreat on a Friday night at the sorority house. That same evening, Kendall and I went to PNC Pavilion to see RaeLynn, Nate Smith, and Jason Aldean in concert. We were there mostly to see Nate Smith and he did not disappoint. I think we may have listened to three Jason Aldean songs and then we quickly made our way to Elkin, North Carolina for Heather’s surprise 50th birthday weekend. We stayed up late that evening at the Three Trails Inn hanging out with everyone and laughing. The next day, I had arranged for the nine of us ladies to hop on the Vine Line and visit four wineries throughout the day: Shadow Springs, Dobbins Creek, Castello Barone, and Piccione Vineyards. Our driver, Rick, was so kind and said that he’s never had so much fun driving a bunch of ladies around. I’m sure says that to everyone. Heather has been wanting to visit the Yadkin Valley wineries ever since I met her many years ago, so when it came time for her milestone birthday, there was no more obvious trip than taking her to this area. While it’s no Napa Valley, we were all very impressed by how pretty the vineyards were and how tasty the wine was. We laughed so much, listened to great music in between the wineries, and just enjoyed relaxing and bonding. After the wine tour, we came back to the hotel, and sat on the rooftop deck for a while before getting cleaned up and making our way to dinner at Southern on Main. It was absolutely delicious! We came back to the hotel, had a dance party, officially sang happy birthday to Heather, and called it a night. It was an amazing weekend celebrating a fabulous friend! 

It was now time for Hanleigh’s first day of high school! Another big rite of passage! This semester, she is taking Dance, Health/Gym, English I Honors, Math Honors, and Spanish II. It seems like she is really loving her new school and making some new friends! I’m excited to see how she navigates this transition into more responsibility. So far, she’s doing great! 

We had an AOii parents’ meeting where we were able to hear the expectations for the semester, especially getting a better understanding of dues (sororities are expensive!). In other exciting news, Hanleigh got her driver’s permit! This is totally baffling to me. Again, I don’t understand how these kids are growing up so fast, yet Trent and I seem to be staying the same age. She needs 60 hours of driving before she can get her license when she turns 16. A smaller amount of those hours has to be at night. So far, she’s doing really well, but definitely needs to get more hours in per week behind the wheel. Hanleigh cheered on her good friend, Alexis, who plays for an opposing high school, at a JV field hockey game. Meanwhile, Brayden got all dressed up in inappropriately designed t-shirts for a rave theme with the Fiji fraternity at UGA. I had an awesome dinner at Napa with Lisa and I’m wondering why we haven’t done this more often! She is awesome! That night, Trent went to a parents’ meeting at the high school, which more or less was a disguise to encourage the kids to sell mattresses. Pretty sneaky and comical. 

Trent took Terry and Fran to the airport for them to fly to California for their annual month-long trip. I believe they were planning on having an 80th birthday celebration for Terry combined with their typical reunion festivities. I know they have an awesome time out there each year! Hanleigh attended her first home football game, which had a neon theme, and went with her best friends, Ray and Hunter. Brayden had her first sorority date night at Paloma Park and she had an awesome time! NC State had their first home football game and beat the East Carolina University Pirates. Go Wolfpack! Brayden had to deliver a speech in her intro to public speaking class and it sounds like she’s enjoying it. Definitely a critical skill to learn if you want to go into broadcast journalism! UGA had their first home game against Marshall and they won as well. Brayden was able to get tickets to every single home game for just $10 each. It’s great that they give the students such a discount as I know some colleges charge a lot of money for them to go to football games. Trent and I wrapped up the month with an awesome surprise date night to the Artisan’s Palate, which is a relatively new restaurant here in Charlotte. The food was incredible! After that, he took me somewhere that I would never have guessed. We pulled into a kind of shady parking lot near a nondescript building. When we went inside, they gave the two of us light-up sticks and bingo cards. I had no idea what was going on. We walked into a big room where there was loud music, people dancing, light-up sticks flashing, and a very large sign on the stage that said Bingo Loco. It was so wild! Think regular bingo, but then people getting on stage and having twerking contests next to the DJ, confetti getting sprayed out into the crowd, smoke machines, and all kinds of other madness. I will definitely go back and highly recommend if Bingo Logo is ever in a town near you, that you should go! I’m surprised it took someone this long to come up with such a fun concept on such a historically boring game.

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